Practicing What I Preach
Burnout as a Therapist
While this post is partially a story of my Journey as a therapist, from burnout to thriving in private practice, it is also a mere example of how therapy can be transformative in the most unexpected of ways, and evidence that I practice what I preach.
My personality as a therapist really embraces my own humanness. I am not the blank mirror that my education wanted to shape me into. Rather I show up as I am, with both my strengths and weaknesses easy to read. In fact, I use self disclosure as a therapeutic tool to not only build rapport with my clients and strengthen the therapeutic relationship but also to lead by example. Whether that is to model appropriate strategies of coping or just really emphasize how perfection should not be the standard we are all striving for. So, all this said, here is a story about how therapy impacted me as a therapist to inspire my current clients, future clients, and anyone else in my life that needs that inspiration to dive into self healing.
As a therapist, my journey in the field of psychotherapy was undoubtedly unexpected. When I first began, my vision was clear: I wanted to work with children, adolescents and families (feel free to brush up on my resume in the about section of my website). I was drawn to the idea of providing help to children and teens because in every capacity that I had worked with them before college it was fun! I was good at establishing bonds with them and I was creative in the activities I structured with them. However, the reality of working with this population, and especially in crisis settings took an extreme toll on me and the second hand trauma caught up to me. The emotional intensity, the constant urgency, and the overwhelming responsibility made it difficult for me to have capacity to meet my own needs emotionally and physically. Hearing some of the stories weighed heavily on my spirit. I also fell victim to this unrealistic expectation that I could save everyone, when in reality it wasn’t my responsibility to save them but rather walk alongside them in their journey. I also couldn't grasp the idea that I was merely planting seeds with little exposure to seeing any of them grow, especially in the short term settings I was working in. But what can I say, I was a novice and new therapist and these are all skills and lessons that sometimes take time to really grasp.
At a certain point in my career the second hand trauma caught up to me. I was no longer able to put energy into exercise because simple tasks like laundry or dishes felt like too much. My nutrition tanked because the energy to cook a meal was too exhausting, or I just truly didn’t even have the time to feed myself. The constant exposure to trauma and unexpected big events was making me hypervigilant and I wasn’t able to relax any more. I was choosing to miss events that were important to me because I needed to prioritize sleep, and emotionally I couldn’t even hold space for my own big emotions without breaking down, let alone holding space for others’. As much as I cared for the families I served, I found myself truly unable to sustain the energy and empathy that had initially drawn me to this field.
The Turning Point: Seeking Help as a Client
While I knew that this was something many of my client’s experienced, it truly took me by surprise that I needed someone else to intervene and tell me something was wrong before I sought help. While I felt all of these things and was experiencing the consequences of the burn out, I couldn’t see an out or even rationalize that I needed to prioritize time to seek help. I am forever grateful for my partner, my closest friend, and an old supervisor for bringing this to light for me. Because, yes, sometimes it takes an external intervention to come to some realizations!
Through this expanded awareness, I decided to turn to therapy as a client. I needed to learn how to better regulate myself, how to cope with the stress of my work, and most importantly, how to heal from the emotional exhaustion I was experiencing. In therapy, I engaged in EMDR. This experience was so profound in regulating my nervous system. It took a long time (years) to feel fully confident in my new found regulation, but it was worth every minute of it. In the process I gained so much insight around why I made certain choices, it allowed me space to feel at peace with people and situations that wronged me, and it really allowed me to accept all that I had gone through in the name of pursuing a career that had broke my spirit. Alongside EMDR I gained invaluable skills through a lot of traditional talk therapy as well. I learned and practiced tools to ground myself, to set healthy boundaries that allowed me to be more present both at work and in my personal life. And ultimately therapy helped me recognize that I didn’t have to continue in toxic environments that drained me; I could create a healthier space for myself.
Through this personal journey, I discovered the importance of taking space from things that were no longer serving me in order to pursue self-care and emotional regulation. It became clear that to help others, I needed to first take care of myself. I also could no longer ignore that if I was this burnt out, I was no longer serving the population I wanted to work with in a productive way or able to objectively provide quality services for them. I had finally accepted that leaving this field would benefit not only myself but those I was working with by allowing someone who was not burnt out to take my place.
Finding My Ideal Path: Private Practice
This shift in perspective and new found capacity to help led me to private practice, where I now work with clients who resonate with my approach and values. I found my ideal clientele—individuals who were ready to engage in meaningful work, individuals who were not in a constant state of crisis but who were still motivated to grow, heal, and better understand themselves. And most importantly adults, people who have more autonomy to make changes. It's been a fulfilling and rewarding experience to witness the progress of my clients, and, in turn, it has reinvigorated my passion for therapy.
And beyond discovering my interests in working with voluntary adults, through my healing journey I was also able to start deepening other interests I have in the field. I pursued training in EMDR to provide the same incredibly transformative experience I had to my clients. I pursued training to further expand my knowledge in working with the perinatal population and the college aged population. And I pursued finding and curating the perfect therapeutic space with lots of windows, tall ceilings, and fresh air when needed (a huge change from the dark closet spaces I was working out of previously).
What excites me most about entering the private practice world is the space I’ve carved out for myself, both professionally and personally. With the right clients, a supportive environment, and a balanced approach to work, I feel I have the energy and enthusiasm to enjoy other aspects of life outside of my therapy practice. Whether it’s spending time with loved ones, pursuing hobbies, or simply resting, I’ve learned that I can be my best self for my clients when I honor my own needs.
The unexpected benefits of therapy
What has been most profound in this journey for me is the realization that therapy—and the act of prioritizing one’s well-being—can lead to change in ways we don’t always expect. When clients enter therapy, many are seeking to improve a specific area of their lives: managing anxiety, resolving relationship conflicts, navigating life transitions, or overcoming past trauma. However, as they delve into the work, they often find that the positive effects ripple out into other areas of their lives as well. For example, clients may begin to experience improvements in their physical health as they manage stress better. They might notice that they’re sleeping more soundly, eating more mindfully, or engaging in exercise that they once felt too overwhelmed to do. As emotional regulation and mental clarity improve, relationships with family, friends, and colleagues may strengthen. Clients often discover that as they heal emotionally, they become more capable of maintaining healthy boundaries, practicing self-compassion, and taking on new challenges with a sense of resilience and confidence. Additionally, many clients are surprised to realize that therapy doesn’t just change how they feel—it transforms how they see the world. When people commit to doing the hard work of self-discovery and self-care, they begin to view challenges with a new perspective. They see possibilities instead of limitations. The world becomes less scary. They experience more compassion for themselves and others, and as a result, they often find that their lives are filled with unexpected opportunities for growth, connection, and fulfillment. Therapy is not just about solving problems—it’s about creating lasting change that reverberates in all areas of life. When we prioritize our mental and emotional health, we unlock new potential and create space for both healing and joy.
In my own journey, therapy was the catalyst for reclaiming balance in my life and becoming the empowered therapist and woman that I am today. I have the capacity for engaging in activities I love like camping, hiking, gardening, and spending time outdoors. I have space to focus on professional development and growing my business. I can spend more time engaged in mindfulness and gratitude with my family. I have the energy to focus on health goals that I have wanted to prioritize for so long. And now, as a therapist, I am honored to walk alongside others as they experience their own transformations. It’s a reminder that, no matter where you start or what obstacles you face, change is always possible when you commit to nurturing your well-being, and that change can ripple out to other areas of your life beyond just addressing the symptoms you started therapy wanting to address!
